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I Can’t Believe You’re a Working Mom!

The struggle is real

As a working mom, I will be the first to tell you that we do NOT have it easy.  But let’s be real: neither do working dads! (Sidenote: I will most likely continue using the phrase working mom, because I myself am a working mom and it’s easier. That doesn’t mean I’m letting dads off the hook!)  And what about single parents?  Every parent who enters the work force will be faced with reality that there will be sacrifices: from missed games to missed promotions or the excitement about a successful career opportunity, quickly followed by the guilt of what will be missed or forgotten in your family to get there.

Why is this such a struggle?  How do we manage?  How do we justify the need to provide OR stay sane vs. the time we will miss out on with our family?

Finding the balance

So let’s talk about stability.  No, it’s not a myth; however, it’s true meaning might be a little distorted in our minds.  Stability is balance; it’s saying “I’m sorry” for missed games or deadlines; it is about not feeling guilty for wanting to invest just as much in your career as you do in your family.  Stability is all about being confident in the choices you make.

The best way to do this is to recognize that WHAT YOU DO IS IMPORTANT!  Did you get that?  Whether you working mom part time or full time, make a lot of money, or barely enough to pay your childcare, YOUR JOB IS IMPORTANT.  I say this to remind you that if you cannot find value in yourself, it will be very hard to find stability.

Reality of Working Moms

Here’s the reality of the working mom challenge:  having it all (a family and a job) requires you to make seemingly impossible trade-offs.  It’s unavoidable.  You will have to miss games and school functions but you will also miss the 1 meeting a year that nobody can miss because of a sick kid.

Intentionality

So to compensate: BE INTENTIONAL!  Quality time spent with our families outside of work can make A HUGE impact on our kids; even more so than the time we are away from them.  When you are home, be home.  Devote your time to your family and be present. Try not to be distracted by technology or vegged out in front of the TV (there is a time for that too though!). Find the balance. Sandwiches or take out are completely acceptable dinners if it allows you to spend more time with your family!

Self Care for Moms

Self care is key!  (Guilt enters here) If you are not taking care of yourself, how can you expect yourself to take care of your family?  You do not have to sacrifice your own needs to be intentional with others.  Because when was the last time you went to the doctor?  Or slept through the night?  Had some alone time?  If it’s been awhile, it’s time to make some changes.

 Own it

Stability does not mean everybody is happy; stability means at the end of the day, you can say “I did the best I could do.” If you didn’t (because nobody is perfect), strive to do better the next day!

If you need help finding stability as a parent, feel free to contact us: 832.421.8714 or through email by clicking here.

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Sarah Howard

Sarah is a Licensed Professional Counselor - Intern, Supervised by Huston McComb, MA, LPC-S. Sarah enjoys working with young adults, adults and couples.
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