The word narcissism gets incorporated into everyday conversation along with our self-obsessed, celebrity-driven culture. This term often defines someone who seems extremely hollow or full of themselves. However, in psychological terms, narcissism doesn’t mean self-love. It’s more precise to say that people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are in love with an overemphasized image of themselves because it permits them to avoid deep feelings of insecurity. Propping up their delusions of grandeur takes a lot of work; that’s where the dysfunctional attitudes and behaviors come in.
NPD involves a pattern of egotistical behavior, a lack of empathy, and an extreme need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as arrogant, scheming, egoistic, condescending, and demanding. This way of thinking and acting surfaces in every area of the narcissist’s life: from work, friendships, family, and romantic relationships.
People with narcissistic personality disorder are tremendously resistant to changing their behavior, even when it’s causing them problems. Their tendency is to turn the fault on to others. They are exceptionally delicate and react judgmentally to criticisms, discrepancies, or perceived rebuffs, which they interpret as personal attacks. For the people in the narcissist’s life, it’s often easier just to go along with their demands to avoid the rages.
Here are the seven indicative signs of narcissistic abusers. Understand these signs and you will know the politics of narcissistic abuse.
These people truly don’t have the capacity to genuinely embrace the pragmatic world of another person unless for selfish gain. In other words, these people can put on a good “compassionate” show in their effort to influence others for their own subjective benefit. However, they won’t and can’t genuinely stand in the shoes of another.
These people don’t have remorse for any transgressions of theirs. Why? There is no conscience, no compassion, no concern about the impact of their behavior on others. From the narcissistic abuser’s point of view, the other person deserves what they got because the narcissistic abuser is…
These people hold rights that others would never assume. They live in a world in which they have privilege to that which is beyond your imagination. Whether they are objectifying you, raping you, or ruling your life, they believe that they deserve what they seek because it is already theirs.
They will tell you whatever they believe you need to know in order to get what they are attempting to extract from you. To these people, a lie is not a lie; it’s a mechanism to leverage outcome. A misrepresentation of information is the twisting of facts designed to convert another into compliance with respect to that which they pursue.
Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde
These people will project a persona that is 180 degrees from who and what they really are. Whether priest, doctor, or politician, they are not as they wish to have you believe. For example, they can be an attorney allegedly protecting an elderly woman from financial exploitation; all while emotionally manipulating her, by using her as a flying monkey/agent in a mission to influence the behavior of her daughter.
These people require the emotional support and admiration of their narcissistic supply as oxygen to sustain them. They truly cannot function naturally and normally without the object of their narcissistic abuse serving as the foundation for their existence.
Uses Battering for Control
When their narcissistic supply is in question, battering becomes the way to level the playing field. It is their means to shift the power and control within the relationship. It’s their way to tip the scale, so they gain the advantage they need to feel on top again.This battering may present as verbal abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, sexual abuse or physical abuse. It’s the striking/maneuvering intended to diminish and dis-empower so as to nourish the deficiency in oneself.
For more information of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or any other mental health disorder, we are here for you! Please contact Amy Wine Counseling Center at 832-421-8714.