We are getting into holiday season! Enter in the excited butterflies and overall groans as we wince under the weight of additional responsibilities. Kids activities, spouse holiday parties, crunching more work into less hours, combine all of that and our plates get full to overflowing and not just at Thanksgiving. We stretch ourselves thin trying to do it all, and sometimes ending up not doing any of it to the fullest extent where we feel satisfied. We feel disappointed and let down in ourselves, so we try even harder, and the vicious cycle continues. How do we get off this cycle? By limiting what we put on it!
During the course of any day we only have a set amount of resources available to us. This covers our mental energy, physical stamina, patience, emotional energy, and more. While we like to believe we are superheroes with infinite resources, while we may be superheroes, our resources definitely are not infinite. So with our 100% of resources we try to divide it a hundred different ways, nothing really getting what it needs.
Asking for Help
For some, this option may not be as feasible as with others. Some have steady partners, others do not. Some have family in the area, some, you’ve had to create your family by chosen friends. Whoever your support system is, remember that shared responsibility equals shared reward. Maybe it’s joining up with a friend to make cookies together or switching off babysitting duties. Maybe it’s asking your mom to play with the kids while you do laundry or your spouse washing the dishes since you cooked dinner. Asking for help isn’t a weakness, it gives another person the opportunity to share and enjoy the life you are both in.
Sure, ideally we want to go to all the holiday events and have the spic and span house with all the laundry and dishes caught up all the time and a homemade costume for our kids and perfectly decorated cookies. But practically? Those grocery store cookies are just fine as is that sparkly hand me down costume. The laundry monster won’t eat your kids yet if you sit down and read a holiday story with them instead of sending them to bed early so you can attack the growing mountain. Choose one or two parties to go to this season and not all eight. Balance.
Honest and Patient With Yourself
The holidays are meant to be enjoyable. Are you having fun? Do your choices of activities lead you to feel excited and filled? If not, what’s going on? What would you prefer to be saying “yes” to? Is that possible? It’s ok to not fully enjoy every moment, but we want to enjoy as many moments as we can.
Fully Enjoy Your “Yes”
By saying “yes” to less it will mean we experience less variety, but we can enjoy what we are experiencing with more energy and vitality. It is possible to lean into all we are missing but not saying “yes” to everything, but stop and remember how much more you are able to enjoy the quality of the event or activity instead of rushing from one thing to another, only to collapse in a mess of cinnamon and glitter new years day.
If you relate to any of this, please contact Amy Wine Counseling Center at 832.421.8714 and we will be happy to help you navigate this glittery, spicy, holiday craziness!