Couples Counseling

The Affair Series: Attunement

December 6, 2019

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At Amy Wine Counseling Center we aim to empower every adult, child, teen, couple, and family on the journey to hope, healing, and happiness. 

About us

After an affair, and during affair recovery, we follow three steps in counseling: atonement, attunement, and re-attachment. During attunement, couples have decided that they can move forward with forgiveness, ready to stop blaming the partner that was involved in infidelity. 

Step 3:  Attunement

Many trust building behaviors occur in this area of the recovery phase. The partner that acted outside of the marriage is making a commitment to this relationship, constantly working to build the marital friendship. The couple is also working on how to process negative events, both making a commitment to try to handle their conflicts so that it doesn’t overwhelm them. There are different tools to use during this time, that a couple can learn in session and practice at home as well.

An acronym to follow for attunement is

A – Awareness of Partner’s Negative Emotion

T- Turning Toward Partner

T- Tolerance 

U – Understanding

N- Non-defensive responding 

E- Empathy

Recovery is Possible

When these 6 things are practiced, the couple is able to cope in a place where they both feel heard and validated. It is important the betrayed partner is experiencing this, as it is also a helpful skill in building trust outside of being open with GPS, bank accounts, and passwords. 

If you are ready to talk to a counselor, please call Amy Wine Counseling at 832.421.8714.