80% of my job is to listen well.  Listening involves being silent and it is one of the best tools to implement in any relationship, especially your marriage.  There’s this great verse about silence located in the Bible. Proverb 17:28, “Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they […]

‘Hypothetical’ conversation: Me: So, you’re thinking about getting married? Person: Yes! They are the one! Me: How do you know they’re the one? Person: I just feel it. Me: What does it feel like? Person: I just want to be with them all the time. Me: I want to be with my dog all the […]

For this blog I want to talk to the men, my apologies to the women, please feel free to pass along the info in this blog to the important men in your life. With that intro out of the way, let’s get straight to the point. I want to propose the question “How can therapy […]

Think about the first big argument with your spouse.  Can you even remember?  Thinking back, was it absurd?  I’m going to quickly share mine, trusting you are not going to cast judgement on me.  My wife and I were in Wal-Mart purchasing some last minute items needed for our summer travels.  I suppose if we […]

Twenty-two. That’s how many years of marriage I have under my belt. I met my husband while I was a senior in high school. I can remember the day we met like it was yesterday.  One Saturday in December of 1991, I was spending the day with my sister and nephew.  We decided to go […]

Although the holidays are over, we may be still riding the high of a new closeness that developed throughout the season towards our spouse. Whether it’s a grand gesture of taking care of the kids and doing chores around the house, or small tokens like preparing your lunch for you and even listening to you […]

All you have to do to ruin your marriage is play fair. I have three kids. – I know this post is supposed to be about marriage, just hang with me.  If you also have kids then you understand the struggle of balancing every gift, treat, and Instagram photo to make sure each kid is […]

As a couple’s therapist, one of the most difficult questions I am asked is “Are we going to make it?”. The beauty of relationships, and the reason this specific area of counseling intrigued me, are the countless variations of dynamics within interpersonal relationships. While relationship patterns – both healthy and unhealthy – exist, every relationship […]

Be careful who you ask to define the Golden Rule. You might hear, “The person with the gold makes the rules!”.  Any smart husband or wife would never define it as such, so let’s go with the more universal (and reasonable) definition of: “treat others how you want to be treated”.  This is a good […]