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After an affair, and during affair recovery, we follow three steps in counseling: atonement, attunement, and re-attachment. During attunement, couples have decided that they can move forward with forgiveness, ready to stop blaming the partner that was involved in infidelity. Step 3: Attunement Many trust building behaviors occur in this area of the recovery phase. […]
Affairs don’t always have to mean the end of a relationship. In fact, there is research that indicates that sometimes couples come back stronger after recovering through the affair. According to lead researchers John and Julie Gottman, there are three phases to affair recovery. The three phases are: Atonement, Attunement, and ReAttachment. The atonement phase […]
Shirley Glass and Jean Coppock Staeheli, in their book Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity, reference how affairs occur to relationships that seem apparently solid by illustrating relationship “walls and windows”. If we can think of a marriage as a house, and two committed partners in separate rooms of the […]
So, let’s say a spouse is already in an emotional deficit and has chosen to not have the conversation mentioned in part 1 with their partner. Now, they experience the feeling they’ve identified as missing from their partner with someone else during their day. It’s like a drug. It’s an addictive experience. Author, Karen Young, […]
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