As I sit here, taking a break from all the holiday baking I am responsible for this year, a sense of relief comes over me. This year, I am not hosting and it should be relatively low key. (Fingers crossed.)
When I think about the stress that can come with spending time with family at the holidays, I have to take a deep breath! Family can be overwhelming. Everyone has questions about your life and opinions on how they could be living it better. Whether you have been married for a one year or 20 years, it can feel like the crazy cycle just replays year after year.
If you don’t have the perfect in-laws, here are a few tips to surviving (and maybe even thriving) the holidays!
- Be We-ness. If you are married, you have to remember that your relationship with your spouse comes first. If a parent is negative to one of you, you must stand together. Defend your spouse and vice versa.
- Don’t leave each other. If either you or your partner are uncomfortable being alone with the family present, then make an agreement not to leave each other alone.
- Breathe. Don’t forget that if things get tense or uncomfortable, take a minute to walk away. A few deep breaths in your nose and out your mouth can really help you clear your mind. It also helps calm your heartrate.
- Have a backup plan. Make a plan that if things get unbearable, it is okay to leave. Have an excuse and a plan ready to go! If you are out of town, consider staying at a hotel.
- Remember that these people gave you someone that you love very much. So, if you have a crazy mother in law that can’t accept that you are the main woman in his live now, or if you have the overbearing father in law whose daughter is way too good for you, your partner is a product of that person.
The holidays can be such a time of joy and reunion. Unfortunately, we often let them become a time of doom and gloom. Hopefully, with these few tips, the holidays with the in-laws can be less stressful and more enjoyable. Happy Holidays from Amy Wine Counseling Center. And as always, if you or someone you know, needs to talk to a Professional Counselor or Therapist, give us a call – 832-421-8714 or email us. We are here for you.