Twenty-two. That’s how many years of marriage I have under my belt. I met my husband while I was a senior in high school. I can remember the day we met like it was yesterday. One Saturday in December of 1991, I was spending the day with my sister and nephew. We decided to go to Wendy’s for a Frosty dessert after shopping at the mall. When I got to the drive-thru window, time stood still. There he was in his gray, striped uniform shirt and baseball cap with Wendy’s written across the front. My future husband took my order and right there in the Wendy’s drive-thru, a love connection was made. Twenty-seven years later, here we are. Married with two great kids. My sister likes to make fun of the fact that I met my husband at Wendy’s. She even suggested that we renew our vows at Wendy’s for our 25th anniversary. She is a barrel of laughs. (Not really.)
A lot has changed since that day at the Wendy’s drive-thru. Thank goodness big hair and Hammer pants are a thing of the past! My husband and I were madly in love and completely inseparable. He was the jelly to my peanut butter. I was the honey on his cornbread. You get the picture, right? Love back then was effortless. Nowadays, the love is definitely still there, but we have to work harder at keeping it fresh. The stresses of raising kids, maintaining a household, and balancing work and home can sometimes put a strain on our relationship. Remembering a few keys to a healthy relationship can help us to continue to grow your marriage.
I know you have heard this countless times before, but effective communication about your needs, wants, frustrations, and hopes provide the foundation for any relationship. It took some time, but I now know that taking ownership of my feelings and acknowledging my husband’s feelings goes a long way in resolving issues and building intimacy.
Relationships require give and take. The word is COMPROMISE. For example, my husband and I enjoy watching movies at home. Sometimes we will watch a Lifetime movie. The next time it will be some ridiculous, action-packed, shoot-em-up movie or a horror flick. I guess you can tell I am not a fan of my husband’s taste in movies. At the end of the day, it’s not about the movie, it’s about the time spent together. Learn to give up a little to gain a lot in your relationship.
Often, after couples have been married for a long time, romance is put on the back burner. The stuff life throws at you gets in the way. It happens, but the things you did to woo your significant other are the same things you need to do to keep your partner interested! Spontaneity, unexpected phone calls just to say hello, and date nights are all things that couples can do to keep marriage sexy. For me, one of the sexiest things my husband can do is load the dishwasher or wash a load of laundry! Don’t judge! As I have gotten older, my priorities and my idea of romance has changed. The point is that each partner should always strive to make his or her better half happy.
If you find that you are in need of a marriage reboot, it may be helpful to see a professional counselor. You may need help re-centering your relationship so that the years to come will be the best yet. Call us at Amy Wine Counseling Center to schedule an appointment.