‘Hypothetical’ conversation:

Me: So, you’re thinking about getting married?

Person: Yes! They are the one!

Me: How do you know they’re the one?

Person: I just feel it.

Me: What does it feel like?

Person: I just want to be with them all the time.

Me: I want to be with my dog all the time.  Should I marry it?

Person: No.  That’s silly.

Me: I know.

You may think this hypothetical conversation never exists in real life, but I assure you it does.  Often, in a dating relationship we can rely much on how we feel and forget to assess whether or not the person we’re with possesses the kind of character we desire for a long-term relationship.  So, for those thinking you might like to marry the person you’re dating, here’s a list of important questions to ponder about their character.  This isn’t an exhaustive list, but it’ll get you started on the right track (in no particular order of importance).   I could’ve listed 100+ questions, including those about finances, faith, kids, etc, but I’m shooting for a starting point.  If you’re not feeling positive about your responses to the questions below, then all the others don’t matter.  I should note these questions were populated with the understanding that marriage is best when based on mutual love and respect.

• Would you characterize them more as selfish or selfless?
• Do they respect what is important to you?
• How do they express anger/frustration?
• How do they treat a waiter at a restaurant (or other service-oriented positions)?
• How do they respond under stress?
• What are their family relationships like?
• How secretive are they?
• Are they controlling or do they allow autonomy in the relationship?
• Do they allow them self to be influenced by you or do they possess a “my way or the highway” mentality?

This quote by Malcolm Forbes sums up a lot: You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who can do nothing for them or to them.

Like I said, the questions above are a starting point.  During the course of a relationship there should be several other important questions to consider as well.  If you’re already in a committed relationship and some of these questions elicit concern, it’s not too late for change to occur.  If you’re unhappy with the state of your relationship gives us a call at 832-421-8714 or contact us here. We have several counselors who would be happy to help get you on the track you desire.