Are You and Your Partner Seeking to Reconnect? Relationships can be hard work. You may find that you and your partner are struggling to communicate. It may be that the energy you once put into your connection has become focused on children, career, or other distractions, leaving you feeling more like roommates than partners. Perhaps your pattern of bickering and small arguments has turned into bigger fights causing you to become emotionally isolated from one another. Maybe you’re just having the same argument over and over again, never getting closer to a resolution.
Whatever the reason, feeling out of alignment with your partner on things like money, child-rearing, and household responsibilities can be stressful. You want to feel like your relationship, and maybe even you, are a priority again. You want to feel understood and heard, loved for who you are, and rekindle the trust that you and your partner can thrive as a couple no matter what challenges you are facing.
Difficulty communicating or feeling disconnected from you partner is a much more common experience than you might imagine. We all have wounds that need healing and it is very often our intimate partners who set us off when it comes to those wounds. It may be unsettling for you to find that your partner is the one triggering your negative feelings. Having these kinds of feelings surface, however, can be a good thing. This is true not only for both of you, individually, but for your relationship, as a whole. Once you’re aware of what is happening, you can, as a couple, find a path toward growth, healing, and deepening connection.
Relationships are organic. They are constantly changing and moving. Once you settle into the rhythm of your relationship, you may find there is work to be done that you didn’t necessarily expect. The first few years of a marriage or committed relationship can often be the most difficult, because that is often when you are really getting to know someone. You may be wondering what happened to those carefree days. What happened to the relationship you had in the beginning.
Learning to balance each other’s needs, share space, and just plain old figuring out how to be as a couple can create conflict. Another issue you may be confronting is that, like many of us, you do not have a good model for what a healthy relationship looks like. On the other hand, while a certain amount of co-dependency is healthy, normal, and even necessary for a relationship to thrive, the stresses that come up in a marriage can cause unhealthy patterns of thinking or acting to arise, damaging self-esteem and self-worth.
The good news is you don’t have to work through all this on your own. Couples counseling can help. With the support of an experienced counselor, you and your partner can get to the root of your conflicts, while developing more effective communication tools supporting you in strengthening your relationship and deepening your connection.
Through effective couples counseling sessions, you and your partner can learn how to reframe your relationship to be healthier and more supportive. You will both discover tools for successful communication, find support and guidance, in a safe, nonjudgmental place. It is in this place you will work out your thoughts, feelings, and the ongoing issues and challenges keeping you stuck or in distress.
We can help you and your partner identify and explore the trigger points in your marriage, then find ways to better address them. Together we will reveal where your triggers come from, and how your unmet needs and expectation might be playing out in your current relationship. By developing a better understanding of each other’s experience, both past and present, you can transform your conflicts into a deeper, compassionate connection.