The good news is that this philosophy works for all relationships including sibling relationships and even with coworkers at the office. What I believe to be the heart of relationships is the intentional act of trying to make others feel valued. This will require sacrifice on your part in those times when you believe your desires are more important, but it is those moments that will make the biggest difference.
My goal as a counselor is to help adults, adolescents, and children by providing a space to be heard, process life’s challenges, and develop the necessary skills to thrive mentally, physically, and spiritually. My overall approach to therapy involves cognitive behavioral methods (exploring one’s thoughts and beliefs relative to emotions and behaviors), as well as narrative therapy (engaging personal stories that view people as separate from their problems). I view counseling as a collaborative effort in helping clients to recognize strengths, identify needs, understand conflicts, discover new options, set personal development goals, and make informed choices.
I can remember when I first read the book “Boundaries” by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. Using verses from Galatians, Cloud and Townsend discuss the difference between burdens and loads. It defines a burden as something that is excessive boulders or problems in our life that we need to allow people to help with. They define the load as our daily toils and strains – something that we are personally responsible for managing and if we ask others to help with our loads we are being irresponsible.
When we think of diversity, a common assumption is that people from diverse backgrounds will automatically find their way into our lives. However, this is rarely the case. More often, our default setting as humans is to surround ourselves with people who are similar to ourselves.
At some point in your therapy journey, your therapist is likely to assess for protective factors that help individuals with resiliency and coping bandwidth when going through difficult times or managing mood disorders or traumas. One protective factor we look for is FRIENDSHIP! Having healthy friendship is a protective factor for both emotional health and physical health.
We often have trouble communicating in relationships regardless of the type of relationship. This is more so in a couple’s environment as there are always competing priorities or values. One of the major enhancements to a relationship, especially in marriage, is to have emotional dialogues with each other.
How well do you know your partner? Oftentimes we say we know them but find it difficult to buy them gifts or know what to do to help them on a daily basis. I often hear couples who have been together for a while, especially after the children leave the home, that they just don’t know each other anymore. The question is, did they ever know their partner?
We have officially entered what some might call the most dreadful time of year. Valentine’s Day, also commonly known as Single Awareness Day, is upon us. We cannot escape it. The grocery stores remind us of our relationship status. When we try to purchase produce, we are greeted at the front entrance with fluffy stuffed animals staring back at us, floating ‘XO’ balloons, and overpriced red roses that will not last a week.
“Conflict in relationships is normal, so how do I know if marriage counseling might help us?” You may feel like marriage counseling seems too drastic for the need you’re currently managing. Maybe you’ve only known people to pursue marriage counseling when they’re “really in trouble” and that’s not you! You guys are doing okay, but […]