“Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.”


When I read this quote, I think about coping mechanisms. A coping mechanism is something that you do in order to help deal with stress. Some harmful coping mechanisms include: self-harming, risk-taking behavior, binge eating,  isolating yourself, or numbing emotions. Sometimes, people numb the pain by excessive substance abuse or by just avoiding them. These coping mechanisms are used for survival. However, they become a habit of avoiding feelings.


When you are grieving, it is often easier to avoid the unpleasant feelings or distract yourself so that you can forget about the pain that you are experiencing. It could be with drugs, alcohol, prescription medication, or overworking yourself. However, grief is tricky. It may help to take some time to sit in the numb feelings, but the uncomfortable feeling will always return like some unpleasant boomerang. You will have to feel again at a certain point. It will be painful, but that is how you know that you are growing and healing. Pain is something that every person on this big blue marble has to deal with. It is unpleasant to say the least, but it is a necessary human experience.

There are a few healthy coping mechanisms that you can do in order to make the pain and discomfort more manageable to deal with when you are finally ready to face your feelings. Humor, physical activity, relaxation, working through the problem, and seeking support are all healthy coping mechanisms to help you feel the pain in a way that is more manageable.

If you are looking for support and some help tackling the problems in your life, please feel free to reach out to Amy Wine Counseling Center at 832-421-8714. We would love to be with you and support you on that path.