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Be Calm! Combating Negative Self-Talk

How do you self-talk? Are you nice? Or do you find that you criticize yourself harshly for the smallest mistakes?

So often, we find ourselves in a pattern of negative thinking. Thoughts quickly escalate from “Dang it, I messed that up” to “you’re a failure…it’s all your fault…”.  As we begin to continually send these messages, it gets harder and harder to believe anything contrary to those thoughts. Suddenly, we are inundating ourselves with negative views of ourselves on repeat.

So, what do we do about it? How do we begin to change our thinking patterns?

We interrupt the process by remembering to BE CALM, a process that allows us to purposefully consider whether our thinking is constructive or destructive.

BE CALM

Beliefs: What are my negative beliefs about myself?
Evidence: What’s the evidence? 
Can I do anything about it in this moment?
Assess your emotions. 
Let go of self doubt (stop those thoughts!)
Move on.

How does this solve negative self talk?

You see, it’s not so much about conquering the big picture right away, but chipping away at it enough to make it manageable in the future. At first, it seems unnatural (because its different) but I promise you, that after time and practice, it gets easier and easier! By interrupting the thought pattern, you are allowing your rational mind to step back up to the plate and began combating those negative thoughts you have about yourself. 

Only you can control your thoughts about you


Think of yourself as a contractor—and your job is to “internally remodel” the negative thoughts and beliefs you have about yourself. People can run plans and blueprints by you all day long, but in the end, you have the final say on how a project will go. In the same way, no one can change the way you think about yourself but you. No one can force you to believe something about yourself, if the little voice inside your head is telling you the opposite. So it’s time to do something about it! It’s time to take control of your own self and create a healthier you!

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Sarah Howard

Sarah is a Licensed Professional Counselor - Intern, Supervised by Huston McComb, MA, LPC-S. Sarah enjoys working with young adults, adults and couples.
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