fbpx

Sarah Dailey

Author Archive

Sarah is a Licensed Professional Counselor - Intern at Amy Wine Counseling Center. Sarah enjoys working with young clients, teenage clients, adult clients and couples.

The Affair Series: Atonement

By Sarah Dailey | November 26, 2019
Posted in , ,

Affairs don’t always have to mean the end of a relationship. In fact, there is research that indicates that sometimes couples come back stronger after recovering through the affair. According to lead researchers John and Julie Gottman, there are three phases to affair recovery. The three phases are: Atonement, Attunement, and ReAttachment. The atonement phase is typically the phase in affair recovery that makes or breaks whether the primary marriage relationship can continue after the affair.  Atonement Phase This phase necessary to the rest of recovery, it is the time when the affair partner must come clean with their actions, […]

Grieving Unmet Expectations

By Sarah Dailey | November 12, 2019
Posted in , ,

When you think of grief, it is likely what comes to mind is bereavement and grief after someone passes away. Grieving is something much deeper and wider than only applying to the loss of a loved one. Grief is a loss — a loss of any kind. Grief Comes in Many Forms: Expectations, dreams, and longings can be wonderful cartographers, drawing the road maps for what we think our future will be. They can help us to feel motivated when the going gets tough, and provide hope in some dire situations. However, when they are not met, it can break […]

The Affair Series: The Windows and Walls of Affair Relationships

By Sarah Dailey | November 12, 2019
Posted in ,

Shirley Glass and Jean Coppock Staeheli, in their book Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity, reference how affairs occur to relationships that seem apparently solid by illustrating relationship “walls and windows”. If we can think of a marriage as a house, and two committed partners in separate rooms of the house, we want a large window in between the partners. In safe, committed relationships, the wall serves as a barrier to protect the “us” of the couple; it stands between them and the outside world. On the safe side of the walls, inside the house, […]

Connection Connection: Read All About It!

By Sarah Dailey | September 9, 2019
Posted in

Individuals have many needs- both physical, emotional, and spiritual. The focus of this series has been taking a dive into the nine different emotional needs. When someone is suffering, we can often take a glance at their emotional needs, and work toward fulfilling those that might not be satisfied. Thankfully there is a way to examine the needs and see which ones may need nourishing, so that you can begin taking the steps toward more emotional contentment.  A quick review of the nine emotional needs: security, volition, attention, emotional connection, connection to the community, privacy, a sense of status, a […]

Pay Attention To Me…. Also, Give Me Space!

By Sarah Dailey | August 22, 2019
Posted in ,

Individuals have many needs- both physical, emotional, and spiritual. The focus of this series has been taking a dive into the nine different emotional needs. When someone is suffering, we can often take a glance at their emotional needs, and work toward fulfilling those that might not be satisfied. Thankfully there is a way to examine the needs and see which ones may need nourishing, so that you can begin taking the steps toward more emotional contentment.  What are the Nine Emotional Needs? A quick review, the nine emotional needs are: security, volition, attention, emotional connection, connection to the community, […]

You’ve Got This: Fulfilling Your Unsatisfied Emotional Needs

By Sarah Dailey | August 7, 2019
Posted in ,

Individuals have many needs- both physical, emotional, and spiritual. The focus of this series will take a quick dive into the nine different emotional needs. When someone is suffering, we can often take a glance at their emotional needs. As a next step, work toward fulfilling those needs that might not be satisfied. Thankfully there is a way to examine the needs and see which ones may need nourishing. Then you can begin taking the steps toward more emotional contentment.  The nine emotional needs are: security, volition, attention, emotional connection, connection to the community, privacy, a sense of status, a […]

Physical Needs and Emotional Needs

By Sarah Dailey | July 23, 2019
Posted in , ,

What is a Pyramid of Needs? Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is typically one of the first things taught in Psychology 101 courses. Have you seen his pyramid of needs before? It starts with physiological needs at the bottom, and at the apex of the pyramid is self-actualization. In between these two ends is the place where many people come in to the office for therapy work. Furthermore, Maslow’s research found there are nine specific emotional needs common to all people.  Physical Needs vs. Emotional Needs: While working in the suburbs, I often find the clients entering my door have many […]

What do Pulling Weeds and Therapy have in Common?

By Sarah Dailey | July 3, 2019
Posted in

I like to bring metaphors into therapy. It is often helpful to relate a client’s internal emotions to tangible things that are known concretely. My family was pulling weeds in our backyard and I got to thinking. The work of getting rid of the weeds is a lot like tending to ourselves in therapy.  3 three different types of weeds I noticed were the ones that: Came right up Are so deep that the root is left behind when tugged on. Are showing above ground in one place, but have sprouted roots in different places than expected. You’ve likely encountered […]

Evaluation in Marital Therapy: Individual Factors

By Sarah Dailey | June 10, 2019
Posted in ,

If you are new to this blog, we are following along what Philip J. Guerin, Jr. Leo F. Fay, Susan L. Burden, and Judith Gilbert Kautto wrote about in The Evaluation and Treatment of Marital Conflict. Family system factors, marital dyad factors, and triangle factors that impact marital conflict have been addressed in my previous blogs. Lastly, we will look at individual factors that are assessed when evaluating marital conflict. In order to treat marital conflict, the therapist needs to get a picture of the emotional state of each spouse. Three criteria Guerin and his colleagues assess are: the degree […]

Evaluation In Marital Therapy: Triangles

By Sarah Dailey | May 28, 2019
Posted in

Today, we will continue the series on the evaluation and treatment of  marital conflict examining another part of the marital dyad. Triangles, a term coined by Murray Bowen, refers to the idea that a two-person emotional system is unstable. When under stress, partners tend to draw in a third party to stabilize the relationship. Meaning, the relationship stress that one is enduring is put on an outside party.  We are following along what Philip J. Guerin, Jr. Leo F. Fay, Susan L. Burden, and Judith Gilbert Kautto wrote in The Evaluation and Treatment of Marital Conflict. The authors discuss how 6 […]

Scroll to Top