Mikayla Williams

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How Radical Acceptance (and not Approval) Will Help You Get Through It

By Mikayla Williams | March 24, 2020
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I often hear clients tell me that they can’t accept it – that if they accept it, they feel like they’re approving of it; they feel like approval for a traumatic or bad situation is an injustice. This is particularly true for the clients I see that have dealt with sexual assault or traumatic loss. They become stuck in their pain with this notion that they have to remain underwater, unable to breathe – that holding their breath honors what they lost. Raising your head above water and letting out that exhale, though, doesn’t have to mean that you’re leaving […]

How to Be a Supportive Spouse When Your Partner is Sick

By Mikayla Williams | March 3, 2020
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The sniffles start, then comes the sneezing, and then the fever. The head fog and body aches follow shortly behind. You wash your hands a little bit longer than usual, noticing the quick onset of your partner’s sickness. Whether it’s a cold, the flu, strep throat, or anything else that would knock you out of work for a couple of days, you want NO PART in getting what they have, right?! It’s easy to put some distance between yourself and your spouse in an effort to stay healthy, but you’re also supposed to be their rock – in sickness and […]

How to Talk to Someone That is Grieving

By Mikayla Williams | February 11, 2020
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Death and loss are inevitable. They’re the most sure things about life. For some reason, though, we can get weird around the topic of death. Society has a few blanket statements to say, but are those actually helpful? Some of those well intended but ignorant things can be pretty damaging. Grief is a confusing emotion. People walk around someone grieving as if they’re on egg shells. Being real and genuine is much more effective. Here’s a list of what not to say and what to say to someone that’s grieving.  What Not to Say They’re in a better place. This […]

Unhealthy Friendships in Adulthood

By Mikayla Williams | February 10, 2020
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Something I work on with my clients ALL. THE. TIME. is how to identify healthy relationships. No, I don’t just mean romantic relationships. We’re SO hyper-focused on romantic relationships as a society. We get fixated on how those relationships affect us, failing to look at other types of relationships in our lives. We learned our lesson when we were younger that some friends, despite how fun they are, just aren’t good for us. Having things in common isn’t enough to sustain a close friendship anymore. With our crazy busy lives, we don’t need someone that contributes to the chaos. Here […]

A Lesson From the Honeybee: Working with What You’ve Got

By Mikayla Williams | January 14, 2020
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My LPC Supervisor (shoutout Megan Garzaglass woohoo you’re amazing!) encourages me to no end. She likes to remind me about that popular story about how the honey bee aerodynamically should not be able to fly. It does anyway because it doesn’t care about what humans deem impossible. Apparently, some researchers say that this is a myth. They claim honeybees simply fly differently than other insects, flapping their wings back and forth instead of up and down. I think this makes it even more powerful, though, also somewhat proving it true. The honeybee works with what it has, because that’s all […]

Redefining the Practice of Patience

By Mikayla Williams | December 6, 2019
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My sweet Izzy (my second oldest dog) doesn’t seem to have much longer on this earth. She’s the kind of dog that stares into your soul with the biggest smile and a constant tail wag, looking cute no matter what she does. She’s also the kind of dog to literally eat your homework, eat corners off of Christmas present boxes, eat remote controls, nudge the pantry open and rip open everything she can knock down with her nose…true stories. Understandably, it leads to a ton of frustration and the occasional wanting-to-scream kind of anger, which accomplished nothing. Patience: I’m not […]

Why “Thankful Season” Should Last All Year Long in Your Relationship: Part 2

By Mikayla Williams | November 26, 2019
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I recently posted “Part 1” exploring why you should practice gratitude every day, every moment – not just on Thanksgiving. Here are some signs you need to make gratitude a habit –  You can more easily recall the things your partner has done that upset you than the things your partner does that you appreciate. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – our brains are wired for survival, NOT for happiness. Holding onto the things that your partner has done that have hurt you may be a protective measure. Recognizing negative or toxic patterns isn’t a bad […]

Your Anxiety Monster is Calling

By Mikayla Williams | November 12, 2019
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We often think as our anxiety as a monster lurking under our bed that only gets bigger as we get older. He feeds on our insecurities, never-ending life stressors, every embarrassing moment we have, and every failed relationship we experience. We become too familiar with that tightness in our chest and inability to breathe. We know that at the very least, anxiety can be pretty distracting, and can become absolutely life consuming. You may feel that your anxiety hinders you from living a full life – going to that event, calling that person you like, getting up on the stage […]

Why “Thankful Season” Should Last All Year Long in Your Relationship

By Mikayla Williams | November 12, 2019
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It’s thankful season! Each year, we gather around and one-by-one share what we’re grateful for. We likely put more thought into what we appreciate on that one day than we do in the entire year leading up to it. We often say something like “I’m thankful for my partner and the life we’ve created,” and it stops there. Gratitude, though, isn’t just found in the big things – it’s in the small gestures, the little, every-day moments, and isn’t something we should reserve just for the month of November.  Big Living Arrangement Change, Little Arguments: My partner and I moved […]

Stop Should-ing on Yourself

By Mikayla Williams | November 12, 2019
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I have a birthday coming up. I’ve always loved celebrating my birthday, but this year feels a little different. As I’m approaching another year of my life, I am increasingly aware that my life looks much different in reality than what I had imagined it would as I was younger. I spent some time imagining that ideal life that my younger self had dreamed up, and can’t help but notice that I’m pretty far off. Of course, this is not an indication that I’m not happy with where I’m at in life – I’m actually extremely proud of myself and […]

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