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A Letter to My Clients That Are Mothers

“Many believe parenting is about controlling children’s behavior and training them to act like adults. I believe that parenting is about controlling my own behavior and acting like an adult myself. Children learn what they live and live what they learn.” – L.R. Knost

Safe Sanctuary

Your stories have filled the therapy room with tears, anxiety, and anger as you bravely enter into vulnerability sitting on the couch. It is such a privilege to sit on the other side of you while you navigate some of the most important relationship work you will ever do.  Women come in exhausted from getting caught up in power struggles…the fear and anxiety around decision making…the explosive anger that occurs when mothers aren’t able to get their children to comply. The room is a sanctuary to safely vent about the rough terrain. But it also quickly turns into your war room, where you get to know your enemy and overcome your worst fears.

Zoom In & Zoom Out

You have likely heard me extend grace to you by reminding you that parenting (while working on our own emotional issues) is the hardest work there is. In the therapy room we get to zoom in and zoom out. You tackle every day issues and challenge your expectations of yourself and your family. We get to look backward and examine the experiences you had that shaped your core beliefs about yourself and the world. For those who experienced trauma in their own first relationships, those very relationships that are supposed to teach us what love is, we discover coping mechanisms you learned to survive. We examine areas of your life where you might be reacting from old wounds. Reactions that may have kept you from connecting with your child in ways you desire. It is so brave that you are willing to do the intentional work of building healthy attachments with those around you now that are safe. 

Your Hour

For the therapeutic hour, your hour, my hope is that you will focus on becoming present in your own body and mind…allowing yourself to be aware of who you are. You are nurturing and reparenting yourself so that you can guide your children. As you carve out your (new) path, your children trek behind you. It is so encouraging to see you take time to check in with yourself.  You’re now choosing intentionally rather than from habit, fear or pain. 

My hope is that as you become more gentle and aware with yourself. You are growing and healing. Unfortunately growth isn’t linear, and sometimes you take a few steps back. And that’s ok. Keep up your hard work. You’re uncovering the mother you have been all along, buried  under the stress of it all.

 

If you have any questions or would like to schedule an appointment, please contact us 832-421-8714.

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